This Is 30

I'm not sure what took me so long to write this post, but I have been sitting on it for weeks, and I finally decided to press publish today. First of all, I cannot believe I am 30 years old. I have had this blog since 2010 and every year I write a post about what I've learned , how life has changed, and what lessons I carry with me into the next year. This year was a bit different, all of a sudden I was suffering from writer's block. I didn't know how to word anything, and I completely forgot what lessons I had learned. (silly right?)

It took me a long time of thinking (and rest from overworking) to really get my thoughts together, and I am happy I took the time I needed. I think I grew more in 2016 than any other year thus far. I feel like that's a pretty bold statement coming from someone who feels like she is constantly changing, evolving and nit picking her entire life.

So many people make a big deal out of turning 30. They dread the day they turn 30 years old because it indicates aging, and it's that one age that everyone talks about when you're officially "getting old." Although I am in no way shape or form, "old" I do feel as though I have learned so much in my 30 years on this planet. If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I would be at 30 I would say so many different things. Nothing prepared me for where I would be now, or how I would feel about the choices I have made and what lead me here.

I think we're all guilty of getting these ideas in our heads of what we should be doing, or where we should be in life at a certain age. One of the major things I have learned is that there is no timeline, for any of us. No one has a strict time schedule of how things happen, and when they're supposed to happen. I mean sure, we all have choices, we make them every day. I'm talking more about the bigger choices that decide our fate. The people we meet, the connections we make, the chances we take and where we end up because of all of these choices.

Let me be clear. This past decade has been amazing. I did everything I thought I would do and more. The good, the bad, the ugly, it's all been a blessing, and it is a part of my story. I feel like I have accomplished so much, and I am proud of myself for it. I did things I never thought I would do. I went to fashion school, and graduated at the top of my class, all while working 2 jobs and doing an internship at a fashion forecasting company. I worked in many different places and learned so much along the way from different people and different settings. I have helped people through their hardest times not only in life, but also in hospital settings through rehabilitation and therapy. I have loved. And I have loved incredibly.

I have fallen in love, and have I learned that true love is a lot different than I thought it was when I was a little girl. Nothing is perfect, and relationships in any capacity, are hard work. I have learned that I deserve the best, and not to settle for anything less than that. As much as relationships can be hard work, they should never be one sided, and should always have good communication.

Where love and happiness exist, so does loss. I have coped with the loss of loved ones, and cried my eyes out on multiple occasions for many reasons-whatever those may have been, they have all shaped who I am today. I have mourned the death of relationships I never thought I would lose,  and I have gained some beautiful ones along the way that I could never live without.

For me turning 30 is so much more than a number. It's being comfortable in my own skin. It's knowing that I have so much to offer, and life is only what you make of it every single day. I've felt highs and lows, and everything in between, and I have come out of it all unscathed and stronger. I don't think there is anything more beautiful than that. Growth is essential, and is so important in building who we are. I feel blessed to have what I have, and be surrounded by the people that mean so much to me.

My 30's are so important because they symbolize a time of happiness and continuing growth. I'm not where I thought I would be- but I am so happy with where I am , and where I am going. This space on the internet has been such a saving grace for me. It has opened so many doors, and has brought so much into my life that I am forever grateful for. So here's to the next decade of my life.

Here's to focusing on health, happiness and love. Forgetting the people who try to hurt you, keeping around the ones who love you, and always remembering that life is not a race, but a walk that we all take side by side at different paces with different stops along the way.

Here's to 30!